......because we internalize everything.
In the past month and a half ...
- we have been incredibly ill with the flu and cold,
- we, very suddenly, lost a brother/in law (DH's brother),
- regained our daughter to the West Coast, and
- experienced travel, moving worries and their effect on dear Stella,
- stress of the highest level from both Stella and ourselves,
- some worries about things back home and now...
I managed to play a concert this weekend, but it was a tough go. Having J & C here for the weekend to quietly visit (and do after dinner clean up!!) was wonderful...but the fact that both DH and I are still in our jammies at 9:50 pm, having done virtually NOTHING all day says everything about how we're feeling.
I am SO happy that Stella and King D are together again, it was good to be with her in Mass. albeit at times edgy. I love them both so much and wish that we had been stronger for her in Mass. but it was an experience that I would not have exchanged for anything. We finally got to experience everything she had talked about first hand and in that respect it was a most memorable time.
I think that DH and I need to pamper and really look after US now and hibernate for a while to recoup the lost energy.....you see, we never fully recovered from the flu before we were grieving and then travelling. So now is the time I think. When a good portion of my day is felt to be on the verge of tears and I see tears in DH's eyes when we talk, I know then that we have no strength to continue and we must stop and recover and finish the grieving process and heal.
We will go to a wedding in Pitt Meadows on Sunday....but that will be it for a while I think.
This is not meant to be a whining post, or even a sad post......I just needed to say something about how we were feeling..........and the eyes are starting to brim....so.....