Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A touchy subject....Part II

So...in May I wrote a post "A Touchy Subject" about my weight loss journey and how it was going at the time.
Well....here's an update....
It's not.....I have again backed away from the whole losing weight thing.

However, there is a method in my madness....so to speak. I am still exercising, although I've dropped the gym membership and bought myself a recumbent bike and a few other exercise accessories. It will work out cheaper in the long run.....at least that's what I'm telling myself. It all remains to be seen. I have been listening to podcasts of Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone whilst I "work out" and also reading  blogs and books....and I have frequently come across the phrases Intuitive Eating and Mindful Eating.

I won't go into the ifs, ands or buts of the subject...just google the phrases....but the concept, while not new, is a good one. However, it is also hard to master....very hard as I'm finding out. There are a lot of behaviours that I'm trying to change and I'm spending a lot more time on me and how I operate....inside and out. I feel a little self-involved....something I don't think I usually am....although maybe some people would beg to differ.

I'm hoping the end result of all this navel gazing and "listening to my body" will be stabilization of my eating habits and a general overall lessening of unnecessary food intake.....in otherwards...hopefully I'll eventually eat three squares and few snacks and exercise on a regular basis.

I'm afraid, though, that I'm still bothered by the old bugbear "what people think"....
I like to believe that I could give a flying toss about what people think of me and how I look or act....but my mother (God rest her soul) trained me well and it's a behaviour that causes me a whole lot of grief. It's getting better, but there are still people in my life (thankfully only a few) who believe they know me well enough to be able to make comments that hurt and they really believe they are helping me.  It's been a problem all my life and I think that I'm finally getting better at deflecting the hurt and firmly believing that I am the one and only person who really knows best about me, myself, and I.

Slainte!